fellin down...everyone seems to be feelin down too...startin to hate my job; well da faq dat all da chinese ppl dere start bitchin bout me wen i screw up and dey haf no idea dat i actualli understand wat da fouk deir sayin...an its so annoyin cos i mean dey r supposed to teach me stuff but dey dunt train me n dey xpect me to noe wat da hell is goin on... assholes..
yea well its okay sumthimes n im still gonna stick with it till mid jan...haha im gonna go baq to skool n take pics with all da teachers dere n all my frens...cant wait n rss peeps...haha i saw da year book..its okay la better den last yrs and smaller..i guess its nicer...but pls PLS dunt look at my class cos i look like shit..!
nuthin much else to do i think were goin to aunty lizzies for christmas but im not sure whether on christmas day or eve...its kinda weird dis yr..all da festive hols i looked forward to suxed like shit... argh well.. mb its jus dat happens as u get older..i need sleep too more often doesnt help dat im sleepin late 24/7 and wakin up early to go to work...and stuff hardly haf ne time for meself realli. wat to do? sigh...
i wanna be a kid again...
i wanna be able to run round free with no constrains and no responsibilities or obligations.
i wanna get away with anyhtin by bein cute and small wen everythin was so carefree and n my main concern was whether i wud be able to stay up late...
*sobs sobs*
its jus not da same cos everythin diff n if i wanna cry i cant scream out loud it jus doesnt work dat way nemore..i cant yell my lungs out and beat my hand sonto my pillow in frustration till someone comes and cuddles me..
now if i cry not a word is heard my voice refuses to crack and all that shows da difference is a tear slidin down my cheeck.. not dat i cry i stuff it inside becomin stone cold feelins dat jus stay put like a caged animal with no way out.i cant get a hug or a cuddle..i jus sit in solitude with my arns round me as my final layer of protection frm da insanity of the worl..and i beat my fists against stone walls feelin da pain...knockin my head against it with da sound resoundin in my head.. da poundin goin on n on...
haha...bleahh.. ignore dat its jus a bit of moodiness..
well got to say LOVE U MUTIARA!!!! cos of my darlin sis i shall own 2 mango tops tomolo...damn i wanted more but todays da last...well actualli yesterday but we got to reserve it...phew.yup well hopefully deres another sale when i get paid...i need a skirt n pants n stockings...den ill be sattisfied...i guess..yea got dis realli nice off shoulder top and a halter with fancy stuff in da front...i wanted to get a toga top too...but not nuff muny...
oh and never thot i say dis but ziyangs cute..haha dutnt kill me if u read dis but seriously...da way he acts and all...realli qute..haha chatted with him n i cudent stop laughin...yup yup..cute guy..
n im tryin to forget bout ppl dat dunt see me wen all i can do is stare at dem...tryin hard sunt think its workin but still tryin newae...haha wat can u do wen its a one sided thing...speakin of which... matt emailed me think ill get to see him for christmas..well i noe wats on da top of my list.. him la... i guess itll be fun weird but hopefully fun.. nuthin much else went to work today for a short while...ummm bout 4 hrs...fazlie n tim can to visit me dere so i told dem to wait for me cos i was finishin and den went shoppin with dem...haha da last part was nice cos we jus sat near somerset mrt...u noe da baq entrance of da specialist centre..da road to da mrt...with da railin...well sat down dere n sorta watched everyone walk pass...enjoyin da breeze...real nice.. den meet up with my sis n her fren frm work she was orite la.. not bad den laft her so we cud shop together..and we went to mango for a long while tryin on shit...and like walkin baq n forth...uhuh den went for a late dinner at new york dessert cafe...(or n.y.d.c) yea everyone shud go check out dis place its awesome...it 2nd level wheelock buildin...haha yup cudent eat desset it was too fillin...den went home la..got home real late round 11 plus...haha so ya...
well see ya...n merry chrismas..dunt forget to think of da turkey...! =]
yea well its okay sumthimes n im still gonna stick with it till mid jan...haha im gonna go baq to skool n take pics with all da teachers dere n all my frens...cant wait n rss peeps...haha i saw da year book..its okay la better den last yrs and smaller..i guess its nicer...but pls PLS dunt look at my class cos i look like shit..!
nuthin much else to do i think were goin to aunty lizzies for christmas but im not sure whether on christmas day or eve...its kinda weird dis yr..all da festive hols i looked forward to suxed like shit... argh well.. mb its jus dat happens as u get older..i need sleep too more often doesnt help dat im sleepin late 24/7 and wakin up early to go to work...and stuff hardly haf ne time for meself realli. wat to do? sigh...
i wanna be a kid again...
i wanna be able to run round free with no constrains and no responsibilities or obligations.
i wanna get away with anyhtin by bein cute and small wen everythin was so carefree and n my main concern was whether i wud be able to stay up late...
*sobs sobs*
its jus not da same cos everythin diff n if i wanna cry i cant scream out loud it jus doesnt work dat way nemore..i cant yell my lungs out and beat my hand sonto my pillow in frustration till someone comes and cuddles me..
now if i cry not a word is heard my voice refuses to crack and all that shows da difference is a tear slidin down my cheeck.. not dat i cry i stuff it inside becomin stone cold feelins dat jus stay put like a caged animal with no way out.i cant get a hug or a cuddle..i jus sit in solitude with my arns round me as my final layer of protection frm da insanity of the worl..and i beat my fists against stone walls feelin da pain...knockin my head against it with da sound resoundin in my head.. da poundin goin on n on...
haha...bleahh.. ignore dat its jus a bit of moodiness..
well got to say LOVE U MUTIARA!!!! cos of my darlin sis i shall own 2 mango tops tomolo...damn i wanted more but todays da last...well actualli yesterday but we got to reserve it...phew.yup well hopefully deres another sale when i get paid...i need a skirt n pants n stockings...den ill be sattisfied...i guess..yea got dis realli nice off shoulder top and a halter with fancy stuff in da front...i wanted to get a toga top too...but not nuff muny...
oh and never thot i say dis but ziyangs cute..haha dutnt kill me if u read dis but seriously...da way he acts and all...realli qute..haha chatted with him n i cudent stop laughin...yup yup..cute guy..
n im tryin to forget bout ppl dat dunt see me wen all i can do is stare at dem...tryin hard sunt think its workin but still tryin newae...haha wat can u do wen its a one sided thing...speakin of which... matt emailed me think ill get to see him for christmas..well i noe wats on da top of my list.. him la... i guess itll be fun weird but hopefully fun.. nuthin much else went to work today for a short while...ummm bout 4 hrs...fazlie n tim can to visit me dere so i told dem to wait for me cos i was finishin and den went shoppin with dem...haha da last part was nice cos we jus sat near somerset mrt...u noe da baq entrance of da specialist centre..da road to da mrt...with da railin...well sat down dere n sorta watched everyone walk pass...enjoyin da breeze...real nice.. den meet up with my sis n her fren frm work she was orite la.. not bad den laft her so we cud shop together..and we went to mango for a long while tryin on shit...and like walkin baq n forth...uhuh den went for a late dinner at new york dessert cafe...(or n.y.d.c) yea everyone shud go check out dis place its awesome...it 2nd level wheelock buildin...haha yup cudent eat desset it was too fillin...den went home la..got home real late round 11 plus...haha so ya...
well see ya...n merry chrismas..dunt forget to think of da turkey...! =]
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