12.16.2003 sigh...

hehe...*huge sigh*

bin feelin real down...guess its da pms shit thingy...haha well dey caught saddam..

okayy dat was so out of place i mean wat da hell has he got to do with my life? well i guess he sorta worked his way into everyones life...watever.
yea well ive bin totalli exhausted frm work i dunno how it can tire u out so much... eg. i slept straight after bloggin and i woke up at 5 today...pig rite? and den i slept again...bin feelin a bit sucky...i so totalli haf no christmas spirit..i dunno i guess da tradition of it broke and deres not da norm atmosphere dat surrounds christmas dis year its jus like everyone is so bz...and nobody talkes bout festivities or nethin... and da doshi's haf gone...i dunno..

yea well were gonna feng shui our room...my sis's idea...haha and i wanted to scan all da recent fotos i haf of our open house shit thingy but i cant find da cd to install it in to my moms laptop...and im still waitin for my com to arrive...uhuh u heard rite...i noe i noe..its realli supposed to be for everyone but i mean my sis has her own lap ansd so does my mom

hell...even my bro has his own com...so for now im stuck with my moms..yea my bro has our old com which crashed and got revived but it now has like no internet and no video card...

newaes...im gonna be a bit self-centered for da moment and list all da things i wanna get(not for christmas but with my paycheck)

well a bit of its i cant keep...so outta bout $550

i wanna get:
sandals
a balck dress
mango top
a few other tops
get my hair highlighted(dunt think ill ever get tot do dat one)
a fone
studs for my ears..and a belly stud
fishnets stockins
concealor.. da one my sis has..

yea well dats it...i noe it seems like its amazin dat i can get all dat with da lil money i haf...but i can im quite sure of it..i think.....i hope

i can.realli..
i jus cant let all da money disappear like it always does...and i wanna see a few movies and i hafta take a few ppl out..

yeps.

and wat i was sayin yesterday...sorry all guys...it was a spur of da moment thingy.. not dat i dunt think it isnt true...it does contain a few grains of truth... but i guess i was a bit to harsh..newae i guess im jus sick of bein tot of as guillible..and dumb i mean ppl round me think dat dey can do anythin dey want and i wont get a hint of wats goin on...and dey think dat if i do find out it wont realli hurt me cos i haf a heart of bloody granite well its not true i do hurt not dat i always show it but i do..haha watever..

2 more things:
got a message frm matt...he was askin me how i am...haha i dunt care im gonna flood his account with weird christmas ecard...
and..
got a nice kiss yesterday..haha very nice i shall not say too much more...

i dunno yesterday i was feelin all like mixed up cos sumtimes u want sumthin to happen and u realli think bout it alot and after all dat has recently happened u think y not and mb it wud be good and its worth a try a nd dat u haf nuthin to lose but den it does actualli happen and suddenly u lose the feelin dat everythin might be good and all ure left with is dis feelin dat things will not be good and like wat if everythin turns out bad and if u end up goin away with all dese bad feelins or if u leave feelin even worse den u alreadi feel u noe like u dunt wanna go nemore or i dunno i mean a million things cud happen..

*gasps for breath*

i jus dunt want to make my things hard for myself..

and peeps...i realli wont forget u...ur not dat easy to forget u noe..haha luv u guys...!