work is exhaustin... i m not kiddin.. imagine workin in a place like delifrance xcept havin to work like a bloody 10x faster u can imagine..
newae was lookin at my sis's blog...got dis...
that blooms today, Tomorrow shall be dying. -Fredrick O' R. Hayes-
Friday, November 28, 2003
It's not fair.
What a Hari Raya it's been so far..... So tiring..... And all my prejudiced relatives.... And I HATE going by public transport, especially when there's so MANY of us, and we're all dolled up to the nines.... It doesn't really help that everyone stares, and of course, the buses and trains are ALWAYS crowded. Being squished when you're already wearing a kebaya that's fitting, plus wearing shoes with long eency heels is no joke.
Least of all when you're claustrophobic.
Also, the kebaya makes it almost impossible to walk. For those of you who've never worn one, imagine your legs being solidly mummified right to your knees. That's exactly what it's like. So when you want to walk, especially when you're wearing heels, you have to take these little steps, mainly moving your calves, which is extremely tiring. You're basically tottering, because you have to have your arms out the sides to balance yourself out, AND you have to carry a handbag besides. To pull up your sarong so you can actually walk is unadvisable if you want to live to see the next Hari Raya (which by this time, you are having second thoughts about anyway) and also not in the least bit ladylike (but by this time, you couldn't care less), so you're pretty much stuck with the tottering.
Not good for getting off buses. I'm not the most ladylike of people.
Since the distance between the bus step and the ground was rather far under the circumstances, I decided to jump off the step, since it was hard to move my legs.
Wrong move.
Needless to say, I fell, pretty much flat, almost tore my sarong, risked getting run over by the bus and completely humiliated myself in front of everyone...
My knee is still purple.
I HATE public transport.
Oh ok, I know I sound really spoilt, but the only reason we had to take public transport this year is because sooo many people wanted to come, and I don't see WHY they had to come with us. And I have no clue why Tess (our maid) wanted to come when she could have just had a nice quiet evening at home... There were too many people so we ALL had to brave it out on the freaking trains and buses. And the best part is, all my cousins had ALREADY visited all the people we were visiting, so I really don't see why they wanted to come. Not like they're going to get more packets or anything. And my cousins are so weird.... They like go around begging or something. Well, practically... Like they just go to houses of people they don't even know, and go “Selamat Hari Raya!” outside the door, and wait for the donations... It's almost like Trick or Treating, except that this just seems like begging.
And yeah, the whole visiting relatives thingey.... Well.... It was awkward, as always. Cos my dad can't talk Malay, and they all don't like to talk English... He sort of just gets left out. And like they talk about him, and he doesn't even know it. I can't stand it. It's bloody annoying. And you just have to sit there and watch some dumb TV programmes while your parents (ok, in this case my mom) talk to whoever it is you're visiting about something or other, and on occasion, when they dain to look you're way, you get repeatedly asked the same freakin questions, like “How old are you?”, “Where are you studying?” and even once or twice, “Why didn't you take up Computer Electronics or Bio-Engineering? What future do you have in Mass Com?” or worse “Why didn't you go to JC?”, “You know you're cousin's doing this or that... Go ask them about it...”
Ugh. It's like there's a freaking guide or something. They all say pretty much the same thing. Oh wait. This has to be my favourite.
“Eh, dah besar... Tinggi nye... Bila nak kahwin?”
Meaning: You're all grown up, so tall... When are you getting married?
I swear, I could have screamed.
And the whole time, whenever they actually talk to you, you have to sit there and smile sweetly, and give them all these nice fake satisfactory answers so they don't go on and on, and think that you haven't been brought up properly.
Mind you, they all think that about us anyway. It's so unfair. They all find it so hard to accept my Daddy. I mean, they're always nice and polite, but you can see that they keep their distance... And you know that your aunts and uncles tell their kids (your cousins) that your family is different, that there are certain things which are unacceptable, and one of them happens to be mixed marriages.
Dammit, it's so annoying. It's been more than 20 years, that's more than enough time to get used to it. And even if they haven't, they shouldn't be so darn blatant about their prejudices and what not.
Well, there are those that are genuinely nice, and it's easy to like people who like you... But most of them... Sigh... Ah well... There's nothing I can do about it.
I have no choice but to keep smiling even though my cheeks hurt, to be polite when I want to snap, to keep quiet when I want to talk back, and to act completely submissive although I'm boiling inside.
For the sake of appearances. And of course because, my mom will kill me otherwise. It's just so unfair. They treat us like we're aliens or something. Not even mentioning how their KIDS act in front if us... Like we're a bloody freakshow or something.
Sigh... Thank god this only happens once a year...
And this Hari Raya has been pretty freaky too, because so many people have been in accidents or died... Seemed that every house we went to, they were talking about this person that was in an accident, or this person that died...
One of my distant relatives (I don't know him) who's only 18 died on Hari Raya itself in a motorcycle accident. And my grandma's sister and her husband were also in a traffic accident and they're both going to be wheelchair bound. That was like a couple of days before Hari Raya. And one of my grandma's other sisters' had a bad stroke the day before, and just got back from the hospital when we went to visit them... And some other person also died I think... Can't really keep track...
So it's been a pretty solemn Hari Raya so far...
I'm hoping things will get better though... We haven't visited most of the nice relatives yet... The ones I look forward to seeing once a year... And we're having our open house on the 6th, and I'll get to see all the family friends again, and you guys can all come! (And save me from the rellies I don't want to talk to...)
haha..poor thing and when she said she humiliated herself it wasnt a joke...it was so ungrateful..haha i luv her bein my sis cos she feels pretty much da same way so i dunt hafta type it all out...and den wen we go out we totalli understand da nudgin and eye-rollin we almost always pass each other...
so i dunt like hari raya...nuff said.
no offense to any malays...i dunt mean it like dat its jus somany bad experiences and im sick of feelin like a freak...
so dere..
newae was lookin at my sis's blog...got dis...
that blooms today, Tomorrow shall be dying. -Fredrick O' R. Hayes-
Friday, November 28, 2003
It's not fair.
What a Hari Raya it's been so far..... So tiring..... And all my prejudiced relatives.... And I HATE going by public transport, especially when there's so MANY of us, and we're all dolled up to the nines.... It doesn't really help that everyone stares, and of course, the buses and trains are ALWAYS crowded. Being squished when you're already wearing a kebaya that's fitting, plus wearing shoes with long eency heels is no joke.
Least of all when you're claustrophobic.
Also, the kebaya makes it almost impossible to walk. For those of you who've never worn one, imagine your legs being solidly mummified right to your knees. That's exactly what it's like. So when you want to walk, especially when you're wearing heels, you have to take these little steps, mainly moving your calves, which is extremely tiring. You're basically tottering, because you have to have your arms out the sides to balance yourself out, AND you have to carry a handbag besides. To pull up your sarong so you can actually walk is unadvisable if you want to live to see the next Hari Raya (which by this time, you are having second thoughts about anyway) and also not in the least bit ladylike (but by this time, you couldn't care less), so you're pretty much stuck with the tottering.
Not good for getting off buses. I'm not the most ladylike of people.
Since the distance between the bus step and the ground was rather far under the circumstances, I decided to jump off the step, since it was hard to move my legs.
Wrong move.
Needless to say, I fell, pretty much flat, almost tore my sarong, risked getting run over by the bus and completely humiliated myself in front of everyone...
My knee is still purple.
I HATE public transport.
Oh ok, I know I sound really spoilt, but the only reason we had to take public transport this year is because sooo many people wanted to come, and I don't see WHY they had to come with us. And I have no clue why Tess (our maid) wanted to come when she could have just had a nice quiet evening at home... There were too many people so we ALL had to brave it out on the freaking trains and buses. And the best part is, all my cousins had ALREADY visited all the people we were visiting, so I really don't see why they wanted to come. Not like they're going to get more packets or anything. And my cousins are so weird.... They like go around begging or something. Well, practically... Like they just go to houses of people they don't even know, and go “Selamat Hari Raya!” outside the door, and wait for the donations... It's almost like Trick or Treating, except that this just seems like begging.
And yeah, the whole visiting relatives thingey.... Well.... It was awkward, as always. Cos my dad can't talk Malay, and they all don't like to talk English... He sort of just gets left out. And like they talk about him, and he doesn't even know it. I can't stand it. It's bloody annoying. And you just have to sit there and watch some dumb TV programmes while your parents (ok, in this case my mom) talk to whoever it is you're visiting about something or other, and on occasion, when they dain to look you're way, you get repeatedly asked the same freakin questions, like “How old are you?”, “Where are you studying?” and even once or twice, “Why didn't you take up Computer Electronics or Bio-Engineering? What future do you have in Mass Com?” or worse “Why didn't you go to JC?”, “You know you're cousin's doing this or that... Go ask them about it...”
Ugh. It's like there's a freaking guide or something. They all say pretty much the same thing. Oh wait. This has to be my favourite.
“Eh, dah besar... Tinggi nye... Bila nak kahwin?”
Meaning: You're all grown up, so tall... When are you getting married?
I swear, I could have screamed.
And the whole time, whenever they actually talk to you, you have to sit there and smile sweetly, and give them all these nice fake satisfactory answers so they don't go on and on, and think that you haven't been brought up properly.
Mind you, they all think that about us anyway. It's so unfair. They all find it so hard to accept my Daddy. I mean, they're always nice and polite, but you can see that they keep their distance... And you know that your aunts and uncles tell their kids (your cousins) that your family is different, that there are certain things which are unacceptable, and one of them happens to be mixed marriages.
Dammit, it's so annoying. It's been more than 20 years, that's more than enough time to get used to it. And even if they haven't, they shouldn't be so darn blatant about their prejudices and what not.
Well, there are those that are genuinely nice, and it's easy to like people who like you... But most of them... Sigh... Ah well... There's nothing I can do about it.
I have no choice but to keep smiling even though my cheeks hurt, to be polite when I want to snap, to keep quiet when I want to talk back, and to act completely submissive although I'm boiling inside.
For the sake of appearances. And of course because, my mom will kill me otherwise. It's just so unfair. They treat us like we're aliens or something. Not even mentioning how their KIDS act in front if us... Like we're a bloody freakshow or something.
Sigh... Thank god this only happens once a year...
And this Hari Raya has been pretty freaky too, because so many people have been in accidents or died... Seemed that every house we went to, they were talking about this person that was in an accident, or this person that died...
One of my distant relatives (I don't know him) who's only 18 died on Hari Raya itself in a motorcycle accident. And my grandma's sister and her husband were also in a traffic accident and they're both going to be wheelchair bound. That was like a couple of days before Hari Raya. And one of my grandma's other sisters' had a bad stroke the day before, and just got back from the hospital when we went to visit them... And some other person also died I think... Can't really keep track...
So it's been a pretty solemn Hari Raya so far...
I'm hoping things will get better though... We haven't visited most of the nice relatives yet... The ones I look forward to seeing once a year... And we're having our open house on the 6th, and I'll get to see all the family friends again, and you guys can all come! (And save me from the rellies I don't want to talk to...)
haha..poor thing and when she said she humiliated herself it wasnt a joke...it was so ungrateful..haha i luv her bein my sis cos she feels pretty much da same way so i dunt hafta type it all out...and den wen we go out we totalli understand da nudgin and eye-rollin we almost always pass each other...
so i dunt like hari raya...nuff said.
no offense to any malays...i dunt mean it like dat its jus somany bad experiences and im sick of feelin like a freak...
so dere..
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