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paraphernælia
4.16.2004
no mood... u noe i never knew that furry stuff could grow inside the boiling water jug. shit

bin stonin all day have a crap ass headache. got a message jus now i though he was replyin but it wasnt him la damn..okay well u noe i shud be fine i mean why an i not fine its not like its a Him him its jus him. but him is -gah okay forget it

yea felt truly sick this mornin was havina long hot shower then sorta kinda felt like i couldnt breathe. u noe like one of those feelings like sumthin is crushin ur chest so dat u cant breathe yea i think it mgiht haf bin da steam sufforcatin me. yea den it went all swirly and felt like i was gonna pass out. and wen i took a step it was all weird i dunno like da ground was comin up to me.. so i jus plonked onto da floor drippin and all..felt da bile in my throat but i hadent eaten so i didnt think it wud be a good idea. jus sat with my head down and it sorta got better.. but bin feelin weird da whole day. needed to sleep alot. bin tokin crazy a bit..
gawd
did have a nice dream.. he kissed me! damn finally.. haha owel

hallucination?
uhuh.

furry stuff invadin my dreams. workin tomolo.
bloody hell

no muny no food i hate it here.. i wanna go home. home home. not this home
i think i took it all out on my dad. sent him an email. i was tryin to be nice and understandin. was rantin a bit hoep i didnt swear.ppl need to have a bit more faith in me. dat evil voice is spillin doubts into my head again i think its da lack of food and da oversleepin. feel like tellin da voice to SHUTTUP! keeps doubtin me.. thanks now im doubtin myself.

i made a fren today..im gonna call it IT..aka Cupcake
yea IT is a boy i think but hes not realli sure.. he likes to play with my hair he says its like a dolls.he likes dolls.. likes their glassy staring eyes. guess hes kinda a freak. i think IT's parents are adoptin another child a boy.. but hes not cute..owel.

hafta wake up early tomolo.. why am i awake..dunt noe. IT kept telling me to go to bed. think i slept to much
die! die u freak!
i like da colour black wudent it be cool if blood was dat colour..
hmm ppl partyin now.. i need to get a life

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