words cannot express how i feel...gawd im still in shock...
its like a dream and u pinch yourself but u dunt wake up and u wonder whether it is possible that its not a dream but its so surreal that basic instinct tells u not to believe that its some sort of mirage that your brain conjured up from being too neglected.. and u wonder whether u can finally admit that u are goin crazy but its not a dream and u want to believe but ur afraid ull get hurt so u dunt and then it is real and emotion flood u and ur at loss for words.. and your mind is drawin blanks and you still feel like ur gonna go crazy but u noe dat at least u arent... and all u can say is "wat are you doing here?" you feel like there is a conspiracy goin on like ppl have bin plottn and then u realise that everyone knew and no one said anythin and den you amze at how dere4 is so much goin on without u knowin and then u feel like ur missin out and ur overcome by a sense of longin and the need to be loved and as u run to be enfolded in the embrace u are still uncertain but when the familiar scent falls around you and the familiar body holds you with complete love and understanding and you noe that u can never be loved in such a way and again u amaze at how u never realised this before and suddenly u are transported back to a time before.. before any of this.. wen everythin made sense before u were forced to grow..
and you smile because it is real and you are here.. and u are loved
no shit... like i said im still in shock i dunt think i can type it out now... im jus so afraid dat if i write it down as sumthin dat actualli happened as sumthin dat is a part of history as sumthin dat is real... dat ill wake up tomolo and realise dat its not..
but despite myself i noe dat i am right and that i am not dreaming and that this has realli happened.. and it jus feels so good.. so good for things to momentarily be right and normal.. and then after that it jus felt realli weird because the two dunt seem to coexist and now they are chucked in the same enviroment and i suddenly felt
strange
its like a dream and u pinch yourself but u dunt wake up and u wonder whether it is possible that its not a dream but its so surreal that basic instinct tells u not to believe that its some sort of mirage that your brain conjured up from being too neglected.. and u wonder whether u can finally admit that u are goin crazy but its not a dream and u want to believe but ur afraid ull get hurt so u dunt and then it is real and emotion flood u and ur at loss for words.. and your mind is drawin blanks and you still feel like ur gonna go crazy but u noe dat at least u arent... and all u can say is "wat are you doing here?" you feel like there is a conspiracy goin on like ppl have bin plottn and then u realise that everyone knew and no one said anythin and den you amze at how dere4 is so much goin on without u knowin and then u feel like ur missin out and ur overcome by a sense of longin and the need to be loved and as u run to be enfolded in the embrace u are still uncertain but when the familiar scent falls around you and the familiar body holds you with complete love and understanding and you noe that u can never be loved in such a way and again u amaze at how u never realised this before and suddenly u are transported back to a time before.. before any of this.. wen everythin made sense before u were forced to grow..
and you smile because it is real and you are here.. and u are loved
no shit... like i said im still in shock i dunt think i can type it out now... im jus so afraid dat if i write it down as sumthin dat actualli happened as sumthin dat is a part of history as sumthin dat is real... dat ill wake up tomolo and realise dat its not..
but despite myself i noe dat i am right and that i am not dreaming and that this has realli happened.. and it jus feels so good.. so good for things to momentarily be right and normal.. and then after that it jus felt realli weird because the two dunt seem to coexist and now they are chucked in the same enviroment and i suddenly felt
strange
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