its been a while since i bothered with the tales of my life. i dont suppose anyone gives a shit anyway and im not entirely sure i want them to either. maybe thats why ive stopped i cant relate my life in words anymore..
just a blur of colours and doodles; a constant fucked up state of mind.
i dont even know who i am anymore. i see traces of who i was, masked behind what the society here has rubbed its dirty little fingers into. things are looking bright-ish yet bleak-ish like dawn after a storm and still i lift my weary feet; one in front of another. plodding through this hell hole till i reach the one on the otherside.
okay ill stop bein all emo.
things have been, well, interesting shall i say.
im not sure where i left off at the last post but in short since then:
-we met matt and ben that was interestin, good times i suppose
-we moved from st lukes to friggin nigga hood, Avondale
-i swear this house is cursed... havent managed to feel settled here since the move and tension has generally been high
-had a few all night crack benders. yes i know its bad for you and yes i know i shouldnt do it but im careful
-i quit uni
-started working full time
-had a couple run ins with daniel who came over every second minute because he wants to sleep with my sis
-had a interesting occassion with steve which didnt turn out too good
-went from part time to full time at work
-went to wellington for a week- all expenses paid by da company cept for the alcohol we were glugging down every night
-found out my dad has prostate cancer. apparently its in the early stages but he has to undergo surgery to get his prostate removed and then maybe chemo
-my sister has ADD that wasnt too much of a surprise once she found out but i jus never realised how it affected both my life and hers.
-she also has depression im not sure if she appreciates me shouting this all over the www but its not a bad thing and too me shes never looked better.
-ive spent a fuckload of money and bought myself a ticket home at the end of the year
-ive had my laptop stolen.. then my phone stolen.. then my fone stolen again.. and now i have a new one
-got a new mobile no 021 97 69 69 (nice huh?)
- i went on a big drug and alcohol binge where i was at least high if not on multiple things at the same time. this lasted around 3 months
-sorta cleaned up my act a bit or tried to anyway.. slowed down on the fucking myself up
-met kenny which is a good thing/bad thing.. ill let you know wen i myself know(its complicated)
-joined the gym which i have been tryin to make a regular part of my life.. it worked for a bit wen i was part-time and not studyin but now im back onto full time its looking a bit harder. but thats also cos im not in a fixed place
-i finally finally finally got my license and ive been sorta kinda learning how to drive.
(manual as wel which im realli proud of)
-smashed a massive hole in my room wall(i lost the plot completely..saw red)
-smashed the car bumper into my garage(i was wasted)
-getting sick of work and second guessing everything
-my mom wants us to all go for family therapy
-my parents are trying to scab money off me not that i dont mind helping out but it would be
nice to hear a"hello darling how are u" rather than "hey can u give me $200??"
-i can finally get a car.. and i want to but not after the cash im saving for my singapore trip and spending money and givin money away to my folks
geez i swear im going mad i think i realli need to move out of my parents place i dont even care how grotty it is anymore i jus need to get out before i snap.
and me within my own mind well im tryin to keep everything under control.. keep my chin up i can take anything ive done it before i can do it again
besides i have a better view of everythin and ignorance thou bliss, can distort with my active imagination into montrous proportions and that aint good. besides im too tired to fight. i jus don give a shit either way anymore
okay i lie
i feel evil and happy and sad because i feel happy in such an evil situation
haha try fuck with that one einstein
u cant phase me... u cant even touch this
i cant keep up with my thoughts
too many fuckin drugs i should stop realli i should but it elates you to a state where your numb to all the prerequisits of society, where you are one with the world because your in the clouds and nothing can harm you or touch you
chemical affair.. its there for the taking and it beats living so why the fuck not.
i officially detox wen i get back to singapore.. heard they got bush for bud as well maybe i should bring some down give everyone a taste of the real shit
im fucking around im stupid but not that stupid.. lol sorry im at work on a fucking sunday for like 8hrs and im not allowed to jack shit except answer calls as and when they come in
-----------updated-------------
okay so it is now next sunday and im still workin story of my current life.
except this time im in a lime green stand at the Auckland Showgrounds
the days jus seem to fly by in a blur of half foggy memories
i hate the transitional periods of the year...
its like this every autumn and spring but mostly jus spring...
just a blur of colours and doodles; a constant fucked up state of mind.
i dont even know who i am anymore. i see traces of who i was, masked behind what the society here has rubbed its dirty little fingers into. things are looking bright-ish yet bleak-ish like dawn after a storm and still i lift my weary feet; one in front of another. plodding through this hell hole till i reach the one on the otherside.
okay ill stop bein all emo.
things have been, well, interesting shall i say.
im not sure where i left off at the last post but in short since then:
-we met matt and ben that was interestin, good times i suppose
-we moved from st lukes to friggin nigga hood, Avondale
-i swear this house is cursed... havent managed to feel settled here since the move and tension has generally been high
-had a few all night crack benders. yes i know its bad for you and yes i know i shouldnt do it but im careful
-i quit uni
-started working full time
-had a couple run ins with daniel who came over every second minute because he wants to sleep with my sis
-had a interesting occassion with steve which didnt turn out too good
-went from part time to full time at work
-went to wellington for a week- all expenses paid by da company cept for the alcohol we were glugging down every night
-found out my dad has prostate cancer. apparently its in the early stages but he has to undergo surgery to get his prostate removed and then maybe chemo
-my sister has ADD that wasnt too much of a surprise once she found out but i jus never realised how it affected both my life and hers.
-she also has depression im not sure if she appreciates me shouting this all over the www but its not a bad thing and too me shes never looked better.
-ive spent a fuckload of money and bought myself a ticket home at the end of the year
-ive had my laptop stolen.. then my phone stolen.. then my fone stolen again.. and now i have a new one
-got a new mobile no 021 97 69 69 (nice huh?)
- i went on a big drug and alcohol binge where i was at least high if not on multiple things at the same time. this lasted around 3 months
-sorta cleaned up my act a bit or tried to anyway.. slowed down on the fucking myself up
-met kenny which is a good thing/bad thing.. ill let you know wen i myself know(its complicated)
-joined the gym which i have been tryin to make a regular part of my life.. it worked for a bit wen i was part-time and not studyin but now im back onto full time its looking a bit harder. but thats also cos im not in a fixed place
-i finally finally finally got my license and ive been sorta kinda learning how to drive.
(manual as wel which im realli proud of)
-smashed a massive hole in my room wall(i lost the plot completely..saw red)
-smashed the car bumper into my garage(i was wasted)
-getting sick of work and second guessing everything
-my mom wants us to all go for family therapy
-my parents are trying to scab money off me not that i dont mind helping out but it would be
nice to hear a"hello darling how are u" rather than "hey can u give me $200??"
-i can finally get a car.. and i want to but not after the cash im saving for my singapore trip and spending money and givin money away to my folks
geez i swear im going mad i think i realli need to move out of my parents place i dont even care how grotty it is anymore i jus need to get out before i snap.
and me within my own mind well im tryin to keep everything under control.. keep my chin up i can take anything ive done it before i can do it again
besides i have a better view of everythin and ignorance thou bliss, can distort with my active imagination into montrous proportions and that aint good. besides im too tired to fight. i jus don give a shit either way anymore
okay i lie
i feel evil and happy and sad because i feel happy in such an evil situation
haha try fuck with that one einstein
u cant phase me... u cant even touch this
i cant keep up with my thoughts
too many fuckin drugs i should stop realli i should but it elates you to a state where your numb to all the prerequisits of society, where you are one with the world because your in the clouds and nothing can harm you or touch you
chemical affair.. its there for the taking and it beats living so why the fuck not.
i officially detox wen i get back to singapore.. heard they got bush for bud as well maybe i should bring some down give everyone a taste of the real shit
im fucking around im stupid but not that stupid.. lol sorry im at work on a fucking sunday for like 8hrs and im not allowed to jack shit except answer calls as and when they come in
-----------updated-------------
okay so it is now next sunday and im still workin story of my current life.
except this time im in a lime green stand at the Auckland Showgrounds
the days jus seem to fly by in a blur of half foggy memories
i hate the transitional periods of the year...
its like this every autumn and spring but mostly jus spring...
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