nice huh? had a little dig on the Whosgoing website and managed to pull this picture up.
This was shortly after me and Kenny got together. First night on the town clubbing in MOS in Singapore.
i miss Singapore. I miss being on holiday with Kenny, where we can just have fun without all the worries of every day shit.
Travelling a six-hour journey from Singapore to Malaysia. haha, crazy shit. I think it was somewhere along one of those rides that i realised i wanted more from him.
Before then, we worked together and we were all sort of new to the rules of how things should be between us. How to act and all, and i just stayed over at his place so we saw alot of each other. And then the day finally came to go to Singapore. The whole disbelief and denail prior to the actual trip. I must say i manipulated that well - got heaps of sex out of it =)
But i just couldn't imagine being away from him.
And then i left and it was okay, but when i txted him. it all just started again. Like back when we were still courting and mainly txting each other in the night when we were apart and emailing constantly in the day. And then he asked me to cone up to Malaysia. I was like uhhh... Wasn't sure about the whole thing but i knew i wanted to see him and it sounded like such an adventure at the time, so go i did.
And when i saw him...
i was thinking about us all the way to KL and how we were getting closer as time went by, and like how this could possibly be the start of something bigger. But then again i was like... NAH. And then when MeiZi called him, i was just thinking 'i shouldn't be here, i shouldn't be thinking about any of this...' and then we went home and we both sorta decided we had to 'talk'. after all the scary talks we've had i wasn't too confident about it being something good. i was steering the conversation towards me leaving... And he was steering the conversation to our relationship. it was too funny.
(me)... so its just going to get harder from here, and i don't want to be.. you know
(kenny) yea i was thinking that to. So what do you want..
(me) well i can leave if you want...
(kenny) what are you talking about?
(me) uhh... aren't we talking about me and like how i shouldn't be here
(kenny) what??? no i'm talking about us..
(me) oh.
**cant remember the exact coversation but it was something along those lines**
And then we came to the conclusion that we could do one of three things.
Just stop seeing each other
Still be FWB but not see each other as much and date other people
Get together
And then i left to go to Singapore, so we only really figured it out in Singapore. And the arsehole knew what i was on about from the start when i said i wanted to talk to him. So cute. And now we are together. Sometimes i still think that this is a complete waste of time and i should just get over myself and get on with my life as my own person. Other times it's just a real whatever thing, and i don't think of him as my boyfriend. But times like this, he's an absolute darling and i'm glad we decided to go out. I suppose in a way it was always what i wanted from him in the first place. it always made me think that i would get sick of him really fast once we started going out, but it's better. it's not always perfect but it's comfortable.
and what does the future bring????
that is another tale for another time.
**okay enough sentimental bull. im outs**
2 Comments:
you know what i think? i think he just came in at the right time. Like we both know that back in the day we were just confused-as about everything. and then we started to get mature and realize things and learns things and we become rational about stuff. and then we let people come into our lives rather than try to run away from them (like we used to right? with all our past relations..) so i think you've used the right word- 'comfortable'. we're just a little more comfortable with ourselves and it makes things convinient even though the reality is that you're in a bit of a fucked-up situation. you just gotta remember, that even though it may seem that you have no choice or say in whatsoever, you actually do. there's a difference between being a control freak and being in-control. Kenny is great man, he's just as human as everyone else and nobody who's human is perfect. one things for sure- i'm always here, no strings, no secrets, no commitments when it comes to E.J. love you & just hollerback when you're free..
M.O.S is a fucking insane place. you don't even need to be on anything to have an epileptic fit there! me and ryan went there to meet baron. it was really weird seeing him again! i was also kinda drunk and txted you because you practically lived there when you were here huh. man minah's all chucking up in the bathroom on a wednesday! clarke quay looks so awesome now though. like the chocolate factory for big kids. PS i blogged.
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