my life consists of four walls.
Everyday i work within the four walls.
I have decided to go back to working at Woosh. i desperately want, and i suppose NEED to pay off all the money I owe. I refuse to let the world and it's nasty little loopholes get the better of me. I want to be able to be on top of everything. Seeing the direct benefits of the effort i put out.
Still at the Letterbox Channel as well. So all in all, i am working 60 hours a week. Not to mention all the USANA stuff that i do outside of the four walls. It's been the first week and already i am starting to feel unmotivated. Not like there is any point to doing it. The reason i came back - the commission structure they had for an incentive run where they double your earning for anything over your target, it's gone. So it's back to just the regular. Doesn't mean i won't try grab every opportunity that is out there. Either way it means i just have to wake up early in the weekends and sit inside for the whole day.
I guess it's not really that bad, not like i would have anything better to do anyway.
Tiara is gone - she won't be back for at least six weeks, if at all.
EJ is back at home and he works in the weekend (late hours at that) so i don't get much of a chance to see him. Kenny is constantly wrapped up in USANA so he is always out and about. I guess whatever i do, i always end up right where i started - staring at the four walls that enclose me.
Why not get paid for it. it's not realli as bad as it sounds apart from the tired-ness. And i will definitely stick with this at least till i get my first paycheck. After that, i am banking on the pay i get fuelling me to keep going. I just want to get rid of my debt fast. After it's all done then i can relax and take it easy. it's just hard to feel so good when your at the bottom of a pile of shit.
FUCK TAX THOUGH.
i should technically get $1145 each month from working at Woosh as well as $2002 for working at the Letterbox Channel, but because Woosh is deemed as a secondary income it is taxed at bloody 43% and commission is taxed at 20%
Insane man. i hope they get the other commission structure/incentive back in. i would fucking break my balls on that one. i aim to get about 60 sales a month anyway which is roughly 700 after tax, so that should help.
Apart from that, i am in the midst of getting cars all sorted. Getting my new car tomorrow and i have my restricted on Wednesday. So the next three days are going to be pretty stressful and of couse after that i'll be working so yes everyday is going to be pretty stressful. in addition to all of this, i still have to make sure the man of the house is happy and that his kingdom is in a presentable state. More the worry, but it's good i guess. AT least im not on his back anymore and i have my own stuff to do rather than just drown myself in happiness every spare moment i get.
Now is the time to get everything to gether and make it stick. Hopefully i will stick with this for three months. That is the short term plan anyway. What is that like 12 weeks? i can start the countdown now if i wanted. It is doable.
It's just sad with the timing of everything. I will hardly get to see Kenny anymore, which might be a good thing or might be a bad thing. Not sure which yet. He is terrible at handling stress, so maybe his new job will be less stressful. me? i can take it... So whatever. I am just not sure what all this will do to our relationship and personal lives.
It was his idea though. Do what you got to do to stick it out...And at the moment i am trying to keep the focus on me, how the hell am i suppose to cater to everyone else when i'm in a big mess myself.
Doesn't work that way huh?
Got to go to court as well.. I am worried about it, it just sounds bad. Everyone doesn't seem to think that it will be that big a deal but it still means i'll have one more thing to worry about. ANd it means more money out of the bank. But shit happens i guess.
Can't do nothing about it so might as well curl my toes, pull my head under and trudge along on the lonely road..(the only one that i have ever known...)
Want to go back to Singapore at the end of 2008. Like seriously considering it, and setting myself up over there. i wonder whether that would work out. It would be beautiful to be able to live that life again. SAdly, i feel somewhat naked.
Like i use to have that comfortable life, and it all got ripped away and i had to run around with no clothes on for ages, trying to figure up a game plan. i feel like i know more now, ever than i would have known if i had never left. But it comes with a price.
It's a more solemn, cycnical take on the truly ugliness of life and what it has become.
What does that mean?
Well, i don't know what that means.. I don't know what that means i will have to walk away from, what that means for myself and my future. What that means in the greater sense of things.
But i feel a change in the wind, and i just have to follow my heart. It sounds really lame when in writing but this is what i told Tiara before she left for Singapore, and it is true.
Sometimes you have to get lost to be found. it's just scary losing yourself because it could mean that you will disappear.
I feel like i'm 40 years old and looking after two fully grown kids and a stubborn cat.
Get me out of here
Everyday i work within the four walls.
I have decided to go back to working at Woosh. i desperately want, and i suppose NEED to pay off all the money I owe. I refuse to let the world and it's nasty little loopholes get the better of me. I want to be able to be on top of everything. Seeing the direct benefits of the effort i put out.
Still at the Letterbox Channel as well. So all in all, i am working 60 hours a week. Not to mention all the USANA stuff that i do outside of the four walls. It's been the first week and already i am starting to feel unmotivated. Not like there is any point to doing it. The reason i came back - the commission structure they had for an incentive run where they double your earning for anything over your target, it's gone. So it's back to just the regular. Doesn't mean i won't try grab every opportunity that is out there. Either way it means i just have to wake up early in the weekends and sit inside for the whole day.
I guess it's not really that bad, not like i would have anything better to do anyway.
Tiara is gone - she won't be back for at least six weeks, if at all.
EJ is back at home and he works in the weekend (late hours at that) so i don't get much of a chance to see him. Kenny is constantly wrapped up in USANA so he is always out and about. I guess whatever i do, i always end up right where i started - staring at the four walls that enclose me.
Why not get paid for it. it's not realli as bad as it sounds apart from the tired-ness. And i will definitely stick with this at least till i get my first paycheck. After that, i am banking on the pay i get fuelling me to keep going. I just want to get rid of my debt fast. After it's all done then i can relax and take it easy. it's just hard to feel so good when your at the bottom of a pile of shit.
FUCK TAX THOUGH.
i should technically get $1145 each month from working at Woosh as well as $2002 for working at the Letterbox Channel, but because Woosh is deemed as a secondary income it is taxed at bloody 43% and commission is taxed at 20%
Insane man. i hope they get the other commission structure/incentive back in. i would fucking break my balls on that one. i aim to get about 60 sales a month anyway which is roughly 700 after tax, so that should help.
Apart from that, i am in the midst of getting cars all sorted. Getting my new car tomorrow and i have my restricted on Wednesday. So the next three days are going to be pretty stressful and of couse after that i'll be working so yes everyday is going to be pretty stressful. in addition to all of this, i still have to make sure the man of the house is happy and that his kingdom is in a presentable state. More the worry, but it's good i guess. AT least im not on his back anymore and i have my own stuff to do rather than just drown myself in happiness every spare moment i get.
Now is the time to get everything to gether and make it stick. Hopefully i will stick with this for three months. That is the short term plan anyway. What is that like 12 weeks? i can start the countdown now if i wanted. It is doable.
It's just sad with the timing of everything. I will hardly get to see Kenny anymore, which might be a good thing or might be a bad thing. Not sure which yet. He is terrible at handling stress, so maybe his new job will be less stressful. me? i can take it... So whatever. I am just not sure what all this will do to our relationship and personal lives.
It was his idea though. Do what you got to do to stick it out...And at the moment i am trying to keep the focus on me, how the hell am i suppose to cater to everyone else when i'm in a big mess myself.
Doesn't work that way huh?
Got to go to court as well.. I am worried about it, it just sounds bad. Everyone doesn't seem to think that it will be that big a deal but it still means i'll have one more thing to worry about. ANd it means more money out of the bank. But shit happens i guess.
Can't do nothing about it so might as well curl my toes, pull my head under and trudge along on the lonely road..(the only one that i have ever known...)
Want to go back to Singapore at the end of 2008. Like seriously considering it, and setting myself up over there. i wonder whether that would work out. It would be beautiful to be able to live that life again. SAdly, i feel somewhat naked.
Like i use to have that comfortable life, and it all got ripped away and i had to run around with no clothes on for ages, trying to figure up a game plan. i feel like i know more now, ever than i would have known if i had never left. But it comes with a price.
It's a more solemn, cycnical take on the truly ugliness of life and what it has become.
What does that mean?
Well, i don't know what that means.. I don't know what that means i will have to walk away from, what that means for myself and my future. What that means in the greater sense of things.
But i feel a change in the wind, and i just have to follow my heart. It sounds really lame when in writing but this is what i told Tiara before she left for Singapore, and it is true.
Sometimes you have to get lost to be found. it's just scary losing yourself because it could mean that you will disappear.
I feel like i'm 40 years old and looking after two fully grown kids and a stubborn cat.
Get me out of here
1 Comments:
*hugs* I'm just glad to know that your alive :)
Keep well Del :)
Shir
Post a Comment
<< Home